Yeah me too, only it wasn’t just a day.
More like a series of days that make up my life.
My life is a giant failure.

I love figuring it out. I had a discussion about this. Everyone has an end game. I hate most of them, but some are innocent but every relationship you will ever have has an end game.
You’re lonely, you’re attracted, they’re attracted, you’re in love, you’re friends, they’re cool, you wanna be cool.
Oh the lovely lovely end game

I got yelled at the other day because when someone asked when i decided i wanted to be a dental hygienist i said “i never did”. Then my mom became very defensive as i explained the difference between wants and what my parents and i realistically decided is a suitable career option.

Want: I want to sit around and take photographs. I want to have a dark room in my house. I want to do digital art and have that be my career.

My reality: I’m going to be a dental hygienist, because photography is not a realistic or stable career path.

But when I word it that way it makes my parents angry. Why? I’m not saying you’re forcing me to do something. I’m just saying dreams are unrealistic. There will never be a day in my life when I wake up and say damn I really want to shove my hands in someone’s mouth and scrape plaque of people’s teeth. Everyone needs to do something. People just get mad when I explain it like that because well then everyone needs to accept that your dreams probably won’t come true. Welcome to reality.

I realized this is how long until I go back to school. I have managed to accomplish jack shit. I took a microbiology class. It really just makes me sad when I think about how this summer should have been and how it ended up. New job, good times with new friends, good times with old friends, and finishing the year strong. I should have been building trust and what did I do instead. Sat inside my house, hung out with my girl a whopping 4 times….barely, and firmly cemented my parents lack of trust and faith in me, and I am still stuck at my terrible job. It’s not a hard job it just literally sucks out your soul. Good thing I got my microbiology class, I mean now I just literally have to fix everything else. What happened to me this year? When did I become …this.